I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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