Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
