he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
