So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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