her body is proportioned like a family guy character
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A bitchslap is in order.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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