Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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