Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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