I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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