i would punch a child for taco bell
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
