Sry I called you an 8
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
