White coat. Heels.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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