careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
