My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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