if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
