i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
