I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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