Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
