I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
As shirtless as possible
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
