Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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