i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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