i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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