I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
