I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
