I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
