Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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