Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
