I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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