he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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