went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
