I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
