Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
