i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
