i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
