If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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