I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
