Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
