She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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