Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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