There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
