Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
