Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
two words...techno handjob
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't deserve a penis
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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