i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
