Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
