His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
