Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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