Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
