At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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