i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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