farters have to be the big spoon...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
