Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
