I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
